It appears you don't have PDF support in this web browser. Download PDF
The Journal Portal
Browse Journals |
Polls |
deviantART [dee·vee·un'nt·ART]
Keep in Touch!
|
Deviousness |
First thing [and not really about the story] is that I really don't like the format this is uploaded in. It's incredibly hard on my eyes and zooming in means I have to scroll sideways for every single line I read. You can always hit the "add text" button when uploading, although you'll have to add in the bold/italic/underline/etc coding.
There's also a few typos;
"with such a thick blanket of white, that Gwyn Bennett could hardly tell" - just being a bit picky here
"It was a quite ward." - should be 'quiet'
But overall, I think it's interesting. I'm guessing Gwyn is Jack's kid.